Robert Hansen && Carolyn Urry Love

This is a hard post to write without getting emotional, but it needs to be written! I don't know where I would be in my life without my AMAZING parents. They have never given up on me and continue to help me become a better person each day.

I thought things would change between us when I got pregnant last year and they have, but for the better. We have a stronger and closer relationship. I can't thank them enough. Not only do they let me live in there house, but they helped take care of me and Kennedy when I was injured for 6 weeks.
That was one of the hardest things that I had to go threw in my life. Not being able to walk or stand or even sit without crying from the pain when you have a newborn && you are a single mom is the worst! I don't know how many times I cried after every doctor's appointment that my mom took me to. I felt so defeated, because no one could tell me exactly what had happened to me or what to do to make it better. My mom would reassure me daily and she gave up a lot of work to drive me to and from those appointments.
I am so blessed in my life to have them both as my example. My dad is always helping us out and trying to cheer us up. It drives him crazy to see anyone of us hurting or having a hard time. He would do anything for us girls.
Thank you mom && dad for everything you have done for me && Kennedy. Without you our lives would be so different. We love you so much!

Motherhood

Being a mom is so hard, it isn't anything like I ever thought it would be. There are times that I have broken down wondering if I am a good mom, if I am doing the right thing, if I am what is best for her. It is so hard to know. I am SOOO lucky to have my parents. They have helped me so much and have reassured me that Kennedy knows and loves me and that I am doing the best I can do for her. I had no idea that a 12 lbs little person could make me feel so many different emotions at one time. When it comes down to it though all I really feel is LOVE. It is the most powerful feeling that I have ever felt. I have NEVER felt this way or loved someone like this before.

I LOVE:
-how Kennedy knows who I am.
-Kennedy's smile.
-the way she holds me back, when I am holding her.
-the way she smells after her bath.
-how she hates having a dirty diaper on.
-the way she sleeps so close to me, when I let her sleep in my bed.
-how fascinated she is with everything!
-the way she makes me feel.
-how any bad day slowly fades away when I look at her face.
-her cheeks!
-how she is starting to "talk".
-looking at her while she is sleeping && thinking my life is perfect.
-how many lives she has changed.
-when she wraps her fingers around my finger.
-how her hair sticks straight up right now.
-that Lil Wayne puts her to sleep.
-watching her play with her mobile.
-watching her watch the TV.
-how she loves football.

She is the most amazing thing in my world. She makes it all worth it.

Mommy's Job Got Outsourced

I came home crying yesterday. It had been another stressful and long day at work. Ever since I came back from maternity leave, I have worked really long hours getting soo much over time. While I should see this as a blessing (since I am a single parent), I couldn't help but wrestle with the thought that this was also my biggest nightmare. I am a single parent, which means I am the only income and I am the only parent to be with Kennedy. Thank the heavens above that I was blessed with the family I was blessed with. Because I might be a single parent, but I team parent with my family. They have helped me pick up Kennedy and they have watched her for me, so that I can be performing at my job.

Last night, I just kept thinking...is all this over time really worth it? I barely see Kennedy. My only time with her is when we are sleeping..Which really sucks but on the other hand we need this money. There was a huge knot in my stomach.

Well my entire company was called into an unexpected meeting. My department of Production has been outsourced. As of December 24, 2010 that means 100-125 of us will no longer have jobs. I am really sad about this, but it forces me to get a new job.

Which tells me that the answer was no. The over time was not worth missing out on raising Kennedy. So even though the job market is scary right now, that is the place that I need to be.

So, if anyone hears of a job opening..please let me know!!!

Kelsy && Kennedy

We're Back To Blogging

Did you miss us?
Good! Because we are back to blogging! We really, I am back to blogging for us.

Kelsy && Kennedy